My Sustainer

The day has come. After many months of anxious waiting, I am sprawled on my bed in Virginia awaiting the beginning of training—a time of drawing closer to the Father before departing on the next leg of this amazing journey.

The past weeks have been a whirlwind. Packing, packing, and more packing; then a trip with my family to the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone National Park. I saw some wonders of creation like I never have before. How amazing it is to think that the Creator who made the mountains, geysers, and sulfur pots also has created a perfect plan for me. He sustains creation and He will sustain me as well. The trip also provided a great opportunity to spend time with some of the people I love before leaving.

One of the fears that has plagued me most about leaving for such an extended period of time is that something will happen to my family while I am gone. It is odd how the enemy can play on such fears in a time like this. While on vacation, my grandpa got a cold that quickly escalated into something more. He has been in the hospital for the past two nights. It was a hard thing to say 'good-bye' to him there. All the wonderings and fears that tumble through my head about the "what ifs" and "could happens" can be stifling. It's hard to remember to trust the Almighty Sustainer in times like these. I don't know what will happen. I can't change what will happen. I may not be there if/when something happens. There are no guarantees things will work out as I think they should. I've been reading about the lives of Corrie ten Boom and Joni Eareckson. To their eyes and to the eyes of many onlookers it was hard to understand, it was hard to see the Him, it was emotionally, spiritually, and physically depleting. Nonetheless, even though few recognized it at the time, even in the darkest hours of despair, the Sustainer was there. He saw, He heard, He understood, He comforted. He was there for them, and He is there for me. True, there are no guarantees things will work out as I think they should, but there are guarantees that are greater than that. My sustainer guarantees He "will never leave us", He guarantees He will "dry their tears", He guarantees "all things work together for the good of those who love Him", He guarantees that "whosoever believes in Him should have eternal life." And so, I'm learning to trust in this too.—even with the lives of the people I love most, although it is often harder than trusting Him with my own life.

"Cast your cares on the Lsrd and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." (Psalm 55:22)