A few days ago, I got to go to my first Bengali wedding reception. Just as in America, they have showers and receptions of sorts. Of course, they don't necessarily call them by these names, but they are similar concepts. From what I've gathered so far, there are four ceremonies. One is like a shower, one is the wedding ceremony, one is to meet the bride's family, and one is to meet the groom's family. These celebrations all take place over about a two month period. I don't really have the whole system of weddings figured out, but I do know that it is a BIG deal. The family might even mortgage the house to have an impressive wedding progression. They decorate, they put up lights, they serve great food, they invite many guests, and they dress up. Actually, the bride dresses up and the groom looks like all the other guests. Now, I've actually only seen one bride, but somehow this woman put on probably 10 necklaces, the biggest nose ring I've ever seen, and a sari with intricate bead work and managed to look absolutely gorgeous and not goddy. She said she designed it all herself and I was very, very impressed.
A few days before the wedding, the family puts up lights on the house and street to announce that a wedding is about to happen. Big banner type gates are also assembled. This is wedding season here, so we were slightly confused when all these Musl.m people started putting up lights for Christmas…turns out it was for weddings… We went to the last of the four ceremonies; the one where the bride is introduced to the groom's family. We entered and saw the bride sitting at the front of the room looking similar to Cleopatra. We went up and greeted her. One of the workers here is good friends with this woman and invited us all to go. We'd never met the bride, but, unlike in America, it wasn't a big deal to bring 8 additional guests with her. So, we greeted the bride and took pictures with her and then we sat and basically watched the bride. After a bit, we went into another room and ate some pretty good chicken biryani before going back to watch the bride again and visit again.
Time is a big thing here…not being on time…but spending time. This is true in many aspects of their life: when stopping at a friend's house, when having tea, and especially at a wedding. It is expected you be there at least two hours and especially until all the mothers and fathers of the bride and groom arrive before leaving. It isn't so much what you are doing, but it is spending time with that person or around that person that shows you care. That is a good lesson to learn from the culture here. Often, as an American, I have an agenda that I want to get done for the day. Most of the time, that doesn't include time for a 2 hour unexpected tea break. Somehow I think what I have to do is more important…but it isn't. As I reflect on the Son's life, I'm reminded of this. Yes, He did great things—He taught, He healed, He traveled, He did a lot. But, He always had time for people, whether it be the rich or the least of these, He had time. The task wasn't more important than the life. He invested His time. Those closest to Him, He lived life with—He ate with them, walked with them, and often stayed where they stayed. Look at the result of His time, these people were the first ones sent out to spread the salvation of the Son and our knowing of Him is probably a direct result of these people's witness. So, in the busyness of life, I mustn't forget that sitting and simply watching a bride look glamorous, or going to someone's home for unexpected tea, or taking a few moments to visit with the beggars is not a waste of time, but is time well spent; time that shows I care, but more importantly shows the Father cares.
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