Crucified with Him

The verse in Galatians 2:20 has been ringing through my head this past month. It says, "For I have been crucified with ÁC and no longer live, but ÁC lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of Gsd, who loved me and gave himself for me."

On Good Friday, I watched The Passion of the Chr.st. I watched the crucifixion scene of the Son of Gsd. It is probably the closest depiction of what a horror happened that day that I have ever seen, and yet I know it was actually very much worse than the screen shows. Words can't describe it, but being crucified for ÁC had to have been beyond hard. It had to have been indescribably painful—on a physical, emotional, and spir.tual level. The beatings and nails in His hands had to have been bad enough, but then the thought of Gsd forsaking His Son must have been almost more than ÁC could bear.

Knowing all that, I don't know why I thought it would be easy to be "crucified with ÁC and no longer live." It wasn't for Him. Why should it be easy for me?

This verse is hard to live. It isn't an option either. It is a consequence of following ÁC. It is truth for every believer—for me. That being said, I'm awful at it. It hurts. It is painful. I fail. I fall flat on my face. I try in my own strength and can't do it. In my own strength, I don't look the ÁC. I look like me—trying to look like ÁC. That is not a very good look either. It is rather revolting. I'm still not being obedient to what He calls. That verse still doesn't describe me.

ÁC is Gsd. I am not. I can't do it. If I'm crucified, I am dead. Dead people don't do things. ÁC must do it.

Head-wise I know that, but living it out is not that simple. ÁC also said to "take up your cross daily and follow Me." Daily. Taking up my cross daily. There are days I definitely don't take up my cross and follow Him. Those are the days I fail.

He forgives. Praise Him. Thank Him. He forgives. I don't deserve it, but He extends it.

He doesn't leave me alone. He constantly wants me to give Him me and let Him live through me.

So, I'm not sure how to say what I'm doing. I'm not trying to be crucified with Him because that is me in the middle of things. I guess I'm asking to be completely crucified with Him even though it hurts and is painful. Asking Him to give me the faith I need to live. Asking Him to live though me. It is the only way to live.